Tellasis Review


The Spare: Media, Abusive cycle, child Fame and marriage, lessons from the spare.

More on Lessons learnt from Harry’s memoir the spare

Harry’s memoir the spare written by J.R Moehringer has brought a whole lot of buzz around the world even before its release. The buzz is mostly negative due to mixed feelings and biased mind-set in relation to the whole Harry-Megan Saga.

Now the book is out I read it, interestingly, despite my personal opinions to the whole saga, It kind of resonated differently with me because it reflected on real-time family issues we all faces that is often been down played that needs to be discussed more often.

I know you will be wondering, what I am talking about, well if you have read the previous write up you will quite understand. Here is the link to read it after this one.

Ok, let us continue dissecting lessons learnt using the episodes from the memoir in no particular order of the chapters.

  1. Media and Child Fame    

In most part of the book, Harry portrayed his psychological battle a lot that he was not able to express to no one, which started from the time his parents separated, then the passing of his beloved mother until he became an adult. He narrated his mental battles to man-up as a boy to not feed the press with stories because they were everywhere.

This is a typical life of most children that found themselves in front of the world even before they can say no to it. In as much as most kids are children to famous people, does it mandate the children to be exposed to media against their will?

Well, From what we have seen so far, only few celebrity parents give consideration to this and its effect to the mental health of their children assuming they are unable to handle it when they grow older. I guess reconsideration needs to be given on how media coverage works around children regardless of whom their parents are in the society.

  1. Abusive Family cycle.

Abusive cycle means common patterns of abusive behavior. This was portrayed in Harry’s book as one the memory flashes that triggers panic attracts connecting to the part played by the press/media, as his mother was dying which continued happening when he got married to Megan. He needed help from his family members to work as teams to end this abusive cycle but they found it normal because they have all witnessed it neglecting the differences in people’s mental thresholds.

Abusive cycle can be found in families in different ways, yet you find many people pay it ignorance homage for it to keep destroying those who cannot handle it. Apart from press/media, it could be anything else happening in the family such as child abuse; meanness, wrong influences/ exposures etc. It could be anything that can be damaging to one’s mental health. This needs to be discussed quite often and mitigated or stopped.

That others witnessed it does not make it ok. My take is, If you recognize that this is not resonating well to you and to others, do something to mitigate or stop it rather than keeping quiet because it may destroy the next victim that is unable to handle it.

  1. Family and marriage

Can you relate some siblings that use to be very close and then marriage happens and threw them suddenly apart, that they have to relocate to other states or country, have children and you watch the bonding that use to exist between the two dissipates so slowly but quickly.

Or separated parents that have to carry on with their lives leaving the children in the middle. These can be so difficult to handle depending on how close you are to your family.

Harry pointed these out in his memoir his feelings when his father got married to his stepmother and then when his brother got married. He expressed the distancing and the breaking in the existing bond that comes with it. First is the wife, then children, as the family grows the attention goes farther away.

He did not express this in a bad way, he was genuinely happy for his family but that was the reality that hits home and sinks in when you are fond of your family.

Wow, this point hits home really. You will agree with me that this happens to many of us 100%. Some family members you lost them once they gets married because all their dedication is transferred to their immediate family. Marriage is a good thing, but guys can we think of a better way we can work around this major issue to keep both our new families and our old families forever close to heart.

I do not know how else, to put it, I really need to know before I move on to the next point.

To be continued…

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